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Are your friendships? Broken or will they make you a better person

2/22/2022

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'A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words'  -- Unknown 

Have you ever just listened to words of songs like, 'A friend' by the Winans, ' Friends are Friends Forever' by Michael W. Smith, You've Got a Friend in Me - 
Randy Newman (Toy Story) and the classic Bill Withers 'Lean on Me'  that remind us of the 'good feeling' in having a true friendship.

A friend is someone who is committed and willing to help you reach your destiny.

How to choose good friends?

Friends that can be around

1- Faithful, you always know that you can contact them and that they will listen
2- A friend will be happy for you when you get promotions, celebrate birthdays, etc.
3- Accept us for who we are....always (unconditionally)
4- Energize you to tackle tough assignments and will help you work toward your goals
5- A friend will know…what to say, what to do and what to be ….even when you do not
6- Understanding, someone who give support, even if they don’t understand your actions
7- Motivate us to make good choices, for our best good
8- Defend us when others are speaking badly about us or attack us, to protect us
9- Serve us when we need help (and seeks nothing in return)
10- Encourage us to achieve our dreams and to be our best, make wise choices
11- Comfort us in life challenges, you can always contact them and they get back to you
12- Forgive us when we make mistakes in life
13- Confront us when we're headed in the wrong direction
14-
 They respectfully correct you when you are wrong with wisdom and love

A good relationship SHOULD make you feel: happy, loved, confident, inspired, peaceful, safe, open to communicating, free to be your best you.

Signs of Negative Peer Pressure (Avoid Abusive and Destructive People -- Haters/Takers)

Pressure you to participate in unsafe, unlawful, harmful activities can be intense and fun.

It is your responsibility to make decisions that will protect your dreams, health and safety.

'Red flags' of bad people  
Friends that will let you down
 
1- You, Have to call them to stay in touch, stop having one-sided relationships (when you need them they have an excuse)
2- Know it all, even Einstein didn’t know it all
3- Take things that is not there’s (robbers and thieves)
4- Try to get over on you, (if I can’t use you then I don’t need you)
5- Put down their family members and friends badly, they put you down the same way
6- Gossip too much about you and other people, maliciously
7- Unpredictable temper, that force you to walk on eggshells around them
8- They love to bully or belittle people, make you and others feel small
9- Blame other people for their problems, just a matter time before they blame you
10- Possessive or extremely jealous, don’t want you to socialize with your family and friends
11- Tend to have a dishonest bossy/ bully personality and treat you like nothing you do matters
12- Bail out on you when you need them, if  they cannot get something out of it for them
13- They are friend/enemies, full of excuses not to support you, will always downplay your success(don't try to be 'good friends' with people you just don't fit with)
14- They are destructive to you and your destiny, by constantly fighting you and what you are trying to do(tear you down)....by questioning your every decision, constantly trying to prove or tell you that you are wrong...with a condescending and critical attitude(berate and demean you)


A bad relationship makes you feel:  insecure, unsafe, discouraged, drained,  frustrated, and/or afraid to speak up.

Some people don't love you,
they don't even care about you
They just want to stay connected to you.
They love the benefits or potential benefit, so they do the minimal....
a little phone call here and there, just checkin' in thinkin about you, etc.
What they are really doing is, maintaining a connection, so when they need you,
they still have a way in.....(the 'no love for you' game)

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Broke-to-Better Blogs, Nomopofolks Association, Dallas, Texas
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Addiction....you can move from 'broken to better'

2/21/2022

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12 step resources

If you gulp down the first (meal, drink, or puff) to get the soothing effect of the alcohol, food or drugs.

If you don't want to 'hear it' about your alcohol, food or drugs consumption with family or friends...or leave the room or get mad if its mentioned, then stay mad for weeks.

If you have to consume more for the same effect, everytime, you might be an addict.

If  you get pissed off, frustrated, bored or scared and you need a drink, drugs, food or sex to calm you down.

If you have blackouts and sneaking drinks or food  ('get high to calm your nerves, 'get drunk to deal with the situation' or 'eating to deal with them people' before a party and then acting 'calm, cool and collected' during the party).

If you get paid on Friday and have no money on Monday.

If you have a drink, a pill, a joint, sex or some food, to feel comfortable in social situations. To take the edge off a little.

If there is a clutter of little papers of (food, drugs, or alcohol)  in your car or in your bedroom.

If your family is clinching there purses to there sides, men have moved wallets to the front pockets, women have hung there furs on the back of the chair there sitting in, and they clear a path for you to walk past them during thanksgiving and christmas holidays.

If you tell yourself that no one gives a damn about you, others just don't get you, or you don't fit into the world around you to justify your behavior.  The (alcohol, drug, food)  protects yourself from more pain and disappointment, so you indulge more to get to the  (I feel better, now) feeling.

If you grew up in a alcoholic or super religious home and/or were abused in some way as a child

If you are paying attention, your mind tells you what you need to know whether we want to hear it or not. If it is haunting you with questions such as "What am I doing," "Why do I keep doing it," and "Why can't I stop," take note. Your problem may have crossed that line into addiction.

If you get upset in your chest when others bring up the subject and then instantly defend yourself with statements like: "It's not a problem for me, "If other people don't understand, it's their problem," "I can stop doing it anytime I want to," or "I'm not hurting anyone but myself?" But, in your heart, you know these things aren't true?

If you blame your behavior on others or a situation, just know, its a 'sorry' excuse for addicts that keeps them from taking responsibility for their choices. When others are out of the picture, and the situation is resolved and the behavior continues, it's a clear sign that the problem -- is yours.

If you have tried to curb your habits with self-help books, DVDs, and CDs, none of them improved your problem.

OK, It doesn't matter whether it's alcohol or shopping, drugs or clutter, eating or not eating, gambling or gotta have it sex -- if it's causing problems, and you can't quit even though you want to, then it is an addiction. The good news is that there is help ranging from treatment centers and anonymous meetings to individual therapy. Very few addicts find successful, long-term recovery without a support system.

Substance Abuse Treatment Centers

To be honest, everyone knows your an addict, you just don't know. I am a 'foodie', food addict, I thought for years nobody knew I had a problem with food. Going to events, eating salad, while the fast food smell was on my breath and clothes. I would stop off and eat fast food before going to family and social functions. Then eat light in front of everybody. Nobody ever said anything until, I started getting clean.(lol)

The ultimate goal in recovery is to be happy and free -- free to live life boldly and unafraid, to embrace others and the world around you without the burden of addiction. There is a whole world out there waiting for you to shine your light on it and, through brutal honesty and seeking help, it's possible to get there. Living life on life terms and having fun, being peaceful towards others.

Mentally, we are hungry for nourishing experiences. When you are emotionally nourished or at peace, the cravings stop. You cannot heal what you are not aware of that is 'driving you to drink'.

Following your counselor, sponsors direction or attending recovery meetings, helps to make your healing possible.

You know what,  whenever you are tempted, pray "God, will not let me slip up today." and believe with all your heart and find peace. The cravings of addiction ceases, one moment, one day at a time.


Broke-to-Better Blogs, Nomopofolks Association, Dallas, Texas
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GOD.... help is only a prayer away

1/17/2022

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Broke-to-Better Blogs, Nomopofolks Association, Dallas, Texas
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Growing Old ….. have fun movin from 'broke to better' as You Age

1/15/2022

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Aging Success Stories

Rumor has it, that it is stated in the bible we are to live to the ripe old age of 120 full of energy, having an enjoyable sex life and full of faith like Abraham. Most people believe that it is 70.  This article is not written for a theological nor historical debate. It is written to let you know what you maybe missing out on in life if you are not taking care of yourself by eating right, exercising, enjoying some form of positive interaction with others, and listening to something positive everyday. In other words,  

​
Aging and Good Sex

Ask any cougar when dating a younger man, she will say ‘age is just a number’ or you are as healthy as you live. There is a whole lot of truth, in the cougars remark. Life does not stop because your hair is turning gray and the body hurts a little before it rains or turns cold.  

First and foremost, you have to eat right, this is the fuel your body needs to run well. Unfortunately, you have to eat a lot of fruits, vegetables and very little red meat, with a lot of water during the day. Exercise 3 to 4 times a week for 30 minutes…I know, the same thing the Doctor said.  If you can get yourself in a routine to do this, it might eliminate the need for ‘blue pill’ at night. Yes, if your internal system is clean of toxins and your energy is up you can enjoy sex until you die.

 Eating Right 

 Believing trumps aging.  What you believe about yourself trumps what age you are. You are as old as you think and  feel. Our focus will determine our level of satisfaction in life. Those who stay young in spirit regularly look for evidence of the GOD in their lives—ways He is work providing, loving, and guiding. Without this perspective, the pain and problems of life can take center stage, which can easily lead to bitterness, discouragement and never-ending grumbling. You must have a positive attitude and outlook about life to get through it.  Look for things to love through out your day.

We can also age ourselves by carrying burdens that believers are not meant to bear. Jesus Christ invites the weary and heavy-laden to come to Him and find peace. He wants us to get under His yoke and allow Him to carry our load of cares and concerns. Our Savior has a solution for every burden and wants to help us transfer them to Him. …Let the stress go and let GOD handle the problems.

What are you carrying that is aging your body, soul, and spirit? (bad children, bills, employees, neighbors, church members, ex-spouses, bosses who harassed and fired you). Try Jesus’ solutions: For bitterness, resentments, and a unforgiving spirit, forgive them and you; for guilt, confess the wrong and do a good deed; for regret over past sin, let it go and believe Christ has already forgiven you; and for anxiety, cast it on God, because He cares for you. His dream is better than your plans.
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Did you know exercising releases the stress from your body….without you knowing it…taking a daily walk for 30 minutes can release the ‘bad nerves’ from your body and you feel better.

Physical Activities

Next, identify all programs and services that can help you stay healthy and interact with people in positive environments, you don’t have to rock away alone at home.

 Positive Programs and Services

Getting around town and seeing the sights, keep your license, current. The freedom to move around without others is very liberating as you age. Those youngun’s don’t need to be in old folks business.

Driving Safety

Looking to save a little money on purchases, now that you are age 55 and older
 

Senior Discounts


If you are an elderly person and need help with your lifestyle needs, reach out for help.

Elderly Resources

If you are a caregiver to your aging parents, who may not feel they need help, if you are overwhelmed feel free to reach out for help.

Caregiver Resources



Broke-to-Better Blogs, Nomopofolks Association, Dallas, Texas


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Nomopofolks Association - Improving Communities from 'Broken to Better'

1/3/2022

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We are more alike, my friends
       Than we are unalike
We are more alike, my friends
       Than we are unalike
                                  Maya
Angelou

Alleviating Poverty and Improving Peace!

Nompofolks.com

Broke-to-Better Blogs, Nomopofolks Association, Dallas, Texas
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