Have you ever just listened to words of songs like, 'A friend' by the Winans, ' Friends are Friends Forever' by Michael W. Smith, You've Got a Friend in Me - Randy Newman (Toy Story) and the classic Bill Withers 'Lean on Me' that remind us of the 'good feeling' in having a true friendship.
How to choose good friends?
Friends that can be around
1- Faithful, you always know that you can contact them and that they will listen
2- A friend will be happy for you when you get promotions, celebrate birthdays, etc.
3- Accept us for who we are....always (unconditionally)
4- Energize you to tackle tough assignments and will help you work toward your goals
5- A friend will know…what to say, what to do and what to be ….even when you do not
6- Understanding, someone who give support, even if they don’t understand your actions
7- Motivate us to make good choices, for our best good
8- Defend us when others are speaking badly about us or attack us, to protect us
9- Serve us when we need help (and seeks nothing in return)
10- Encourage us to achieve our dreams and to be our best, make wise choices
11- Comfort us in life challenges, you can always contact them and they get back to you
12- Forgive us when we make mistakes in life
13- Confront us when we're headed in the wrong direction
14- They respectfully correct you when you are wrong with wisdom and love
A good relationship SHOULD make you feel: happy, loved, confident, inspired, peaceful, safe, open to communicating, free to be your best you.
Signs of Negative Peer Pressure (Avoid Abusive and Destructive People -- Haters/Takers)
Pressure you to participate in unsafe, unlawful, harmful activities can be intense and fun.
It is your responsibility to make decisions that will protect your dreams, health and safety.
'Red flags' of bad people
Friends that will let you down
1- You, Have to call them to stay in touch, stop having one-sided relationships (when you need them they have an excuse)
2- Know it all, even Einstein didn’t know it all
3- Take things that is not there’s (robbers and thieves)
4- Try to get over on you, (if I can’t use you then I don’t need you)
5- Put down their family members and friends badly, they put you down the same way
6- Gossip too much about you and other people, maliciously
7- Unpredictable temper, that force you to walk on eggshells around them
8- They love to bully or belittle people, make you and others feel small
9- Blame other people for their problems, just a matter time before they blame you
10- Possessive or extremely jealous, don’t want you to socialize with your family and friends
11- Tend to have a dishonest bossy/ bully personality and treat you like nothing you do matters
12- Bail out on you when you need them, if they cannot get something out of it for them
13- They are friend/enemies, full of excuses not to support you, will always downplay your success(don't try to be 'good friends' with people you just don't fit with)
14- They are destructive to you and your destiny, by constantly fighting you and what you are trying to do(tear you down)....by questioning your every decision, constantly trying to prove or tell you that you are wrong...with a condescending and critical attitude(berate and demean you)
A bad relationship makes you feel: insecure, unsafe, discouraged, drained, frustrated, and/or afraid to speak up.
Some people don't love you,
they don't even care about you
They just want to stay connected to you.
They love the benefits or potential benefit, so they do the minimal....
a little phone call here and there, just checkin' in thinkin about you, etc.
What they are really doing is, maintaining a connection, so when they need you,
they still have a way in.....(the 'no love for you' game)
False Friends are like our shadow,
Keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine,
But Leaving us the instant we cross into the shade
Christian N. Bovee